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Marooned On Samsara MMXVIII

by Ahráyeph

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1.
End I (Hindsight) 02:19
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2.
In Sickness 03:51
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THE BITTER MAN’S PATH THE CURSED LIFE HE’S HAD LIFE’S HUNGER’S BEEN DRAINED THE VOICE IN HIS HEAD A SOUL, LEFT FOR DEAD WHEN EVERYTHING’SAID THE CORPSE THAT FEEDS THE DOG REMAINS IN SICKNESS I CRAVE, IN HEALTH I ASPIRE IN MADNESS I DWELL, AND WALLOW IN MIRE AWAY FROM THE REAL, A DESPERATE DESIRE SO YOUR MIND HAS DECEIVED YOU WHEN IN DOUBT CAN’T RELIEVE YOU RETRIEVE YOU DEAD IS THE SOUL THAT BINDS ITS DESIRE ILL, THE INSOMNIAC DRAGGING THROUGH FIRE DROWNED IN HIMSELF, BY SICKNESS RETAINED THE CYNICAL SMILES, THE DEADENING STARE NO LIFE LEFT TO LOSE, NO SOUL LEFT TO BEAR ALL BUT HOLLOW TURNING TO STONE, CRUMBLING TO DUST THE AGELESS PAIN, PERVERTED BY LUST A DEAFENING STARE, THE MADMAN’S GLARE NO LIBERATING SCREAMS IN MADNESS I DWELL, IN STRENGTH I REPULSE CEREBRAL IN DEATH, THE SHALLOW CONVULSED INSANITY CLAIMED, SILENCE RETAINED SO YOUR MIND HAS DECEIVED YOU WHEN IN DOUBT, CAN’T RELIEVE YOU RELIEVE YOU TO BE FREE FROM THE PAIN TO PLEAD LOVE TO REMAIN SEE MY SOUL RECLAIMED BUT BY SICKNESS I’M RETAINED
3.
Misanthropia 04:35
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ABERRATION THE HUMAN UNKIND SUFFERS ONTO ME SAVOUR A LIFE OF DISCOMFORT THE WOVEN TRAIL OF SULLEN SOULS BROKEN BY DOMINION OF THE MILLIONS ADMIRATION FEAR STRIKES IN THE HEART OF BLIND BELIEVERS SHELTERING FROM UNDEFINED SEEKERS THIS IS YOUR SPAWN, YOUR ABHORRENT BROOD IGNORANT AND MURDERING THEIR SOULS SELF LOATHING SOUL THE VOID WITHIN ME I COULD DIE ALONE HERE WHEN IT’S OVER IS IT OVER? BREAK ME FREE, FROM THIS EFFIGY RELEASE ME, FROM THIS MOCKERY MY BLOODY HANDS MY BLOODLESS MIND ACESSORY TO THE GUILTY THEIR SICKENED MINDS CONTROL ME THEIR BLACKENED LIVES DESTROY ME I CANNOT STAND THIS SIGHT OF ME
4.
Seele 05:06
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WHERE WOULD I FIND YOU? WHERE DID YOU RUN TO? OUTSIDE MY DREAMS THERE’S ONLY SOLITUDE THE CHILL OF BITTER LIFE WHERE DO YOU HIDE? DOES A MASK OF ANGER VINDICATE THE MURDER OF YOUR SOUL? OR ARE YOU SOMEONE? NOT JUST THE OTHER ONE? SIE IST DIE SEHNSUCHT MEINER SEELE IHR GEHÖRT FÜR EWIG MEIN HERZ NIE VERGESSEN IST SIE, ENGELS MEINES STREITS DIE MEIN SCHMERZENSFEUER LÖSCHT ICH MUSS DICH FINDEN UNSERE SEELEN WIEDER VERBINDEN ICH WAR DIR SO FERN DOCH IMMER NAH ALS ICH FLIEHEN MUSSTE WIE EIN DIEB MEINE SEELE, EINE WÜSTE DUR FÜHRST MICH WIEDER HIER ZUM ENDE DIESES KREISES KEIN SCHICKSAL TRENNT UNS MEHR NIE WIEDER!
5.
Memories 04:09
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IN BITTER DARKNESS TWISTED SUBMISSIVE COLOUR GAZING BACK THROUGH THE MIST IN THE FADING SIGHT OF YESTERYEAR THE BLEEDING HEART LIES EMPTY WALLOWS IN THE SHADOW’S VEIL SO GRANT US ONE MORE SUMMER BEFORE REPRESSION ONE LAST LOVE BEFORE OBSESSION ONE LAST HIGH BEFORE REGRESSION ONE FINAL MEMORY TTHE NIGHT REVEALS ALL WOUNDS AND STRIKES THE NERVE NIGHTMARES, AWAKENED FROM THEIR TOMBS TO GIVE US ONE LAST NIGHT OF DRUNKEN SPLENDOUR ONE LAST SUNRISE TO REMEMBER ONE LAST CHANCE TO. REAK ON THROUGH ANOTHER MEMORY IN BLOOM HELL IS COMING WEST OF YOU HELL LIES IN THE MIND OF FOOLS HELL ABIDES ITS TIME AWAITS ITS DAWN UNSHEATHS ITS CLAWS HELL HAS YOUR HEART NOW
6.
Distanced 03:31
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TWICE REMOVED STILL COLD, BURNING BRIGHTER THE DAMAGED SOOTHED UNAWARE OF MY ENLIGHTENMENT THIS HORRID BROOD TAKEN BY THE TANGIBLE FOUND FOR WORDS, HOLLOW PHRASES BOUND FOR WORSE, BLIND AND DAZED SEE ME FALL FROM HEAVEN’S GATE AND GAZE THE DISTANCED - MY HELL IS YOUR WORLD THE DISTANCED - I’M DEATH TO YOUR WORDS THE DISTANCED - A LOOKING GLASS LIFE I’M DISTANCED WHAT YOU FEAR IS MINE EFFIGIES OF SICKNESS, HOWLING IN DARKNESS SLAVES TO FALSE IDOLS, IGNORANCE UNRIVALED
7.
The Rain Suite 12:00
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(DOWNFALL) I’M SURE I COULD LECTURE ON HOW TO SPEND TEN YEARS IN THE INSIDES OF A LEPER NOURISHING MY FEARS I’M CERTAIN I COULD TELL TEN THOUSAND STORIES LONG OF HOW LIFE IS IN HELL ABANDONED AND UNDONE I’M SURE I CAN ATTEST TO MISANTHROPIC NEEDS OF CONSCIENCE LAID TO REST A FADING THOUGHT OF HONESTY (ELEGIA) AND NOW YOU’RE HERE, AND I AM AND ALL WE ARE IS FADING FROM THE START THE DISTANCE PERVERTED POETRY OF LUST, AND LIES STUMBLE DOWN THIS LIFE WE’RE GIVEN A GRADE TO CURE INSANITY IMAGE FUELED BY CALCULATIONS THE HUSK REMAINS AN EFFIGY FEAR WHAT YOU COULD BE FEAR THIS MIRROR, OLD AND WITHERED DREAD WHAT YOU WILL BE THE DYING IS LYING A LIFE DEATH, MY FRIEND ABSOLVE ME HEAL ME LET ME BE REBORN IN THIS DARKNESS I’LL FIND LIFE I CAST YOUR SPELL ASIDE ECSTASY, WHAT DO YOU SEE? YOU’RE DYING FLESH BENEATH THE MOON WHEN YOU COULD HAVE BEEN DIVINE! (DIVINE) FORGET THE WORLD IGNORE YOURSELF FOREVER REMAIN IN A MIND WE CALL HELL NO MORE THOUGHTS NO MORE DREAMS FALLING APART AT THE SEAMS AND SHOULD ALL OF THIS EVER WITHER DOWN AND PERISH I’LL STILL HAVE LAIN BESIDE YOU DEEP WITHIN YOU HEARD YOU CRY...
8.
Lilith 04:12
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VERITAS ODIUM PARIT THE BLOOD IN YOU IS ME THIS TRANSGRESSION SHALL NOT PASS FOR INNOCENCE LIES DONE UP AS TRUTH REVEAL YOUR AIM ENEMIES YOU MADE, EVER OUT TO BLAME THE SONS OF MAN TREASON BE THY NAME TAKE YOUR SALVATION FROM MY HANDS FEAST YOUR PLEASURES ON MY SOUL LIKE YOUR HEART NOW I AM A BARREN LAND LILITH - TERRIFIED OF LIFE LILITH - DEVOURER OF MEN LILITH - THE SPAWN OF DEMON BLOOD LILITH - MURDERER OF LOVE AFRAID TO DREAM THE DREAM LIVE FOR APPEARANCE TO DECEIVE THOUGHTS IN SILENCE, SPEAK IN LIES THE TALES STILL TOLD IN YOUR EYES WHEN THE MIRROR SHOWS DECAY YOUR RESOLVE : TO HIDE AWAY WHERE YOUR HEART LIES STILL AND COLD BEATEN DEATH UPON MY SOUL THIS DISEASE YOU FEEL, I KNOW YOU BEGGED IT OUT OF ME! LILITH - TERRIFIED OF LIFE LILITH - DEMEANER OF MEN LILITH - THE CURSE OF DEMON BLOOD LILITH - MURDERER OF LOVE THE BLOOD IN YOU IS MINE
9.
End II (Insight) 05:44
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YOUR TROUBLES ARE OVER LEAVE BEHIND EVERY MEMORY TO THIS TRAVESTY PLACEBO SOLACE FROM A CHEMICAL ROMANCE SCENES FROM THE TENTH STOREY FROM THE TENTH STOREY STILL YOU’RE STALKING AND EVERY TRACE YOU LEAVE BEHIND CANNOT HIDE YOU AND I SEE YOU GOING DOWN IN THE FIRES THAT YOU BRED AND I’M FEELING YOU’RE CONSUMED BY THE DEMONS IN YOUR HEAD AND I SEE YOU CRAVING FOR WHAT YOU COULDN’T TAKE AND I FEEL YOU DRAINING NIGHT THROUGH DAY BUT THIS IS NOT THE END CURSED - TO RELIVE AGAIN! AND AGAIN
10.
Farewell 08:17
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AS I WIND DOWN CLOSE THE WINDOW TO THE ECHOES OF THE PAST I TURN INSIDE SHUT THE LIGHT THE DARK IS WHERE I HIDE GOODBYE TO HATE GOODBYE TO PAIN GOODBYE TO LAUGHING AT THE CLOUDS BENEATH THE RAIN GOODBYE TO LOVE GOODBYE TO DREAMS GOODBYE TO HAPPINESS FALLING APART AT THE SEAMS FAREWELL TO LOWS FAREWELL TO HIGHS FAREWELL TO DROWNING MELTING BETWEEN WOMEN’S THIGHS FAREWELL TO ONE FAREWELL TO ALL FAREWELL TO WHO I WAS AND WHAT CAN’T BE RECALLED I CANNOT SUFFER THIS BEATING SILENCE THIS FADING CONSCIENCE BEGGING FOR DELIVERANCE THE FOOL RECITES HIS WISDOMS IGNORANT AND CRUEL THE PAWN OF MOCK RELIGIONS THE VOICE OF CONTRADICTIONS BEREFT OF MEANING DENIED, THIS HEALING VOID OF REASON SEEKING SOLACE FOR THIS BLEEDING ENTERS NIGHT CLOAK OF RAVENS SHAKE THEIR RAINBOW WINGS LIKE GODS BENEATH THEIR SLAVES SHACKLED, BRUISED AND BATTERED BOUND BY SENSELESS MATTER FOAMING AT THE MOUTH BLOATED AND STRUNG OUT I’M MAROONED ON SAMSARA I REACH OUT TO AFAR TO WHAT ONCE WAS MY HAVEN MY SANCTUARY, MY EVENING STAR!
11.
In Sickness (Single Version) 03:53
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THE BITTER MAN’S PATH THE CURSED LIFE HE’S HAD LIFE’S HUNGER’S BEEN DRAINED THE VOICE IN HIS HEAD A SOUL, LEFT FOR DEAD WHEN EVERYTHING’SAID THE CORPSE THAT FEEDS THE DOG REMAINS IN SICKNESS I CRAVE, IN HEALTH I ASPIRE IN MADNESS I DWELL, AND WALLOW IN MIRE AWAY FROM THE REAL, A DESPERATE DESIRE SO YOUR MIND HAS DECEIVED YOU WHEN IN DOUBT CAN’T RELIEVE YOU RETRIEVE YOU DEAD IS THE SOUL THAT BINDS ITS DESIRE ILL, THE INSOMNIAC DRAGGING THROUGH FIRE DROWNED IN HIMSELF, BY SICKNESS RETAINED THE CYNICAL SMILES, THE DEADENING STARE NO LIFE LEFT TO LOSE, NO SOUL LEFT TO BEAR ALL BUT HOLLOW TURNING TO STONE, CRUMBLING TO DUST THE AGELESS PAIN, PERVERTED BY LUST A DEAFENING STARE, THE MADMAN’S GLARE NO LIBERATING SCREAMS IN MADNESS I DWELL, IN STRENGTH I REPULSE CEREBRAL IN DEATH, THE SHALLOW CONVULSED INSANITY CLAIMED, SILENCE RETAINED SO YOUR MIND HAS DECEIVED YOU WHEN IN DOUBT, CAN’T RELIEVE YOU RELIEVE YOU TO BE FREE FROM THE PAIN TO PLEAD LOVE TO REMAIN SEE MY SOUL RECLAIMED BUT BY SICKNESS I’M RETAINED
12.
Lilith (MMXXIII Single Version) 04:32
lyrics
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VERITAS ODIUM PARIT THE BLOOD IN YOU IS ME THIS TRANSGRESSION SHALL NOT PASS FOR INNOCENCE LIES DONE UP AS TRUTH REVEAL YOUR AIM ENEMIES YOU MADE, EVER OUT TO BLAME THE SONS OF MAN TREASON BE THY NAME TAKE YOUR SALVATION FROM MY HANDS FEAST YOUR PLEASURES ON MY SOUL LIKE YOUR HEART NOW I AM A BARREN LAND LILITH - TERRIFIED OF LIFE LILITH - DEVOURER OF MEN LILITH - THE SPAWN OF DEMON BLOOD LILITH - MURDERER OF LOVE AFRAID TO DREAM THE DREAM LIVE FOR APPEARANCE TO DECEIVE THOUGHTS IN SILENCE, SPEAK IN LIES THE TALES STILL TOLD IN YOUR EYES WHEN THE MIRROR SHOWS DECAY YOUR RESOLVE : TO HIDE AWAY WHERE YOUR HEART LIES STILL AND COLD BEATEN DEATH UPON MY SOUL THIS DISEASE YOU FEEL, I KNOW YOU BEGGED IT OUT OF ME! LILITH - TERRIFIED OF LIFE LILITH - DEMEANER OF MEN LILITH - THE CURSE OF DEMON BLOOD LILITH - MURDERER OF LOVE THE BLOOD IN YOU IS MINE
13.
End II (Insight) (Single Version) 05:46
lyrics
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YOUR TROUBLES ARE OVER LEAVE BEHIND EVERY MEMORY TO THIS TRAVESTY PLACEBO SOLACE FROM A CHEMICAL ROMANCE SCENES FROM THE TENTH STOREY FROM THE TENTH STOREY STILL YOU’RE STALKING AND EVERY TRACE YOU LEAVE BEHIND CANNOT HIDE YOU AND I SEE YOU GOING DOWN IN THE FIRES THAT YOU BRED AND I’M FEELING YOU’RE CONSUMED BY THE DEMONS IN YOUR HEAD AND I SEE YOU CRAVING FOR WHAT YOU COULDN’T TAKE AND I FEEL YOU DRAINING NIGHT THROUGH DAY BUT THIS IS NOT THE END CURSED - TO RELIVE AGAIN! AND AGAIN...

about

'What would you do if you could go back and correct past mistakes?'

It's an often heard theoretical and philosophical question, for which there is no right or wrong answer.

Questions may be raised regarding my sanity when you think about the fact that I'm releasing my debut album once again, entirely re-recorded, re-mixed and remastered, almost ten years after the fact. In fact, some of my 'peers' have questioned my sanity already when I announced it through social media.

I may well be making a fool out of myself by re-recording, re-mixing and remastering the 'Samsara' album, some say I am, but a born perfectionist like me always wants to do better. And the fact remains that while the original 'Marooned On Samsara' album sounds decent, I never felt it sounded as good as I knew it could sound. I did the best I could with the means I had at the time and the result was obviously of a lower standard. For one, the mixes lack bass, something my dearly departed friend James Blaast never failed to point out to me at regular intervals throughout his life. This has been corrected. The fact that I'm now using superior gear to record on and with, is also of considerable importance. And I’ve learned a few things as a producer and sound engineer over the years. That also helps. But most importantly, I’ve come to know these songs better. Playing most of them live over the years helped improve their delivery and dynamics.

What it is, is that I love these songs, and I wanted them to shine in the way I know they can shine. I want them to punch, like I know they can. I want them to sound dark and barren, and I know that's all in there. I want them to sound desperate, brooding. And for me, they just didn't do that enough the first time around. So here it is, another chance. Technology makes it a lot easier to correct past mistakes, and I took that opportunity.

So call me insane, laugh if you must and ridicule me if that's how you roll. Some already have. What counts for me at the end of the day, is that I can live with the songs. And this time around, I most certainly can. After the original 'Samsara' album was released, I never listened back to it again, like I did do with 'AnimAElegy' and the 'Desert Songs E.P.'. I want to be able to give 'Samsara' the same courtesy. I may not sell another copy of this album. I don't care. I make music because I have to; everything else that comes from it and with it is just extra; both good and bad. Whether you enjoy this reinvigorated version of 'Marooned On Samsara' with me, is, ultimately, entirely up to you...

credits

released September 22, 2018

Recorded, mixed and mastered @ Rose Creek, November 2016 through September 2018

All songs written and performed by Ahrayeph

Artwork : Harbinger Design & Rose Creek Design

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Ahráyeph Leuven

Prog, Goth, Rock, something music-y. Definitely dark. Dark is good. If you like dark music with the odd odd time signatures thrown in with the melancholy, this is your place to be.

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