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Tying in with 'Curmudgeon', this song is the opposite end of the spectrum : a remorseful Blaast, professing to me he knows where the line is and never to cross it again. This actually happened and it's a nearly verbatim retelling of what he told me that Friday evening all those years ago. I often wondered why he showed me the courtesy he never showed many of the other people he insulted and hurt with his unreasonable verbal lashings when he was in pain. After his death, I saw many a reference to his curmudgeon behaviour. It made me sad to see that this was the only side some people had seen of him. He was so much more than that, and I did try to convince him to also talk things out with other former friends of his, but for reasons I will not go into here, he didn't feel inclined to do so. He also felt very comfortable with himself once he had gotten the right meds and didn't feel inclined to get out of his comfort zone any more. 'I'm set in ma ways' is a phrase I often heard from him.

That he did show me that courtesy, is something I still often wonder about, but I'm glad he did, because even if we disagreed in the years between then and his death, we were always able to discuss it and it never once impacted our friendship.


Never apologise, never explain
You should know by now I’m set in my ways
Never vying for favours or gain
Shrugging off the blame

Now boozy and content, in the presence of myself
I scan the screen, listen with intent
I speak Thee Afterword, it’s all I need
And never a desire

To toe The Line

But your silence
Has a hold on me
questioning myself
For this Brotherhood
I concede
I’ll rein in my Ire
For you I’ll resign to toe the line

No words will come between us
No more
This bond will not be broken
No more
No silence, verbal violence
No more
No more


from Heavy Like The Ancient Sun, released August 11, 2018


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Ahráyeph Leuven

Prog, Goth, Rock, something music-y. Definitely dark. Dark is good. If you like dark music with the odd odd time signatures thrown in with the melancholy, this is your place to be.

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